I'm a Marauder, so, I'll never tell
by dramalover2004
Summary: Bust a gut funny! Guess who's causeing the trouble? I'm a marauder, so, I never tell!
1. Default Chapter

"Eww..."Said Sirius bringing the fowl smelling soak away from his face, "Benjamin must be washed this week. Don't you?" He replaced the soak on his foot and returned to his homework.  
"What was that?" asked Dianne, a fellow Gryffindor. "Sometimes conversing with Benny helps me with my homework. He tells me all the answers to my Charms homework. Pity he doesn't have a clue to Potions"  
She raised her eyebrow in disgust.  
"Hey, you think this is weird? I know all about your night time friend  
little missy" He said playful tone. She looked him with wide eyes and leaned in close whispering "How do you  
know about that?"  
"I didn't, but I do now"  
"You're lying. No really how do you know about him" "Muhahahaha! I'm a Marauder, I never tell." She rolled her eyes and left. As she did James came strolling down the stairs and sat down in the once  
occupied chair. "Did you have nice wet dreams?" he asked then added "of  
Lily by chance?"  
"Marauders never tell" James said simply.  
"I got a taste of my medicine and it is bitter" Whined Sirius. "I see you guys are up at a decent time, finally." Said Lily entering the Common Room and taking a seat next to James (uh lala). James brought his  
face close to hers and stared. "First of all, get a breath mint. Second of all, can I help you?" she said. "First of all, I just had a Sardine Every Flavored Bean. Second of all, you  
can, will you go out with me?"  
"Um, you phrat , we're going out already!"  
"Well I guess I just got in the habit of asking you out every day, and being rejected, but in that case" James leaned over and kissed her on the  
cheek.  
"REMUS! GET DOWN HERE!" yelled Sirius.  
Remus Scrambled down the stairs exclaiming "What, what's going on?"  
"The two love birds are at it again" Sirius said giggling like a school  
girl.  
"Ohhhhh, Little potter's grown up and become a man" Lily started coughing chocking on air "yeah, righttt" She said in mocking  
tones.  
"What you think me of a child?" James said acting offended.  
"Yeah, pretty much" she said nodding.  
"Oh, just to let you guys know, we're late for potions" said Sirius  
throwing his back bag over his shoulder and running out of the portrait  
door.  
  
Disclaimer: This is owned by J.K Rowling 


	2. The fight

"I can't believe you cheated!" screamed Lily. "But, I did it for you. I didn't want you to be embarrassed by my bad grades" James said reasonably. "You know, this is getting old. I'm always your excuse when you do something wrong" "Why do you always get mad when I do something like cheating off a hard Potions test. "I'm a just a boy and you're just a girl. Can I make it any more obvious?" "And you're just a fag, haven't you heard. And you have a friend who has a pet sock." Lily faked sang. "You're off tune Lily. I'm going to have to ask you to stop" he said raising his hand. "You know, I never can keep a straight face around you" "Wait, wait, wait back up a minute" James said seriously "Is your face gay or something?" Lily playfully smacked his sorry ass. "Why don't you ever do that to me?" said Sirius who unfortunately walked by. "I don't want to touch your butt. I have no idea where it's been" she said "Well, I could tell you whe..." Lily cut him off "No, no I don't want to know" "Well, I guess she knows where mine has been" James said. "I can also tell you where his has been too." "Again, don't want to know" stated Lily. "Ok, its class time. We're probably late again." Sirius said. "I think I'll skip this one with a fake stomach ache" said James. "Mmm, me too." Lily stated. "WHAT?! I think we have a bad influence on you" said James in a concerned voice. With that they left. 


	3. butts 'n' socks

He wrapped his arms around her. They pressed their lips together in the common room. While in their passionate kiss Sirius walked through the portrait door. "Whoa! Get a room kids." He said in mock terror. "In case you haven't noticed this is a room" said Lilly "In that case, mind if we join you?" "What-"James was interrupted as Sirius pulled off his sock and started making out with it. "Um, you can leave now" Lily said. "We know when we're not wanted" He said rolling his eyes. He returned his sock to his foot and headed to the boys dormitory. After he was gone Lily ask "Didn't he name the sock Benjamin?" "He claims that it is a he-she sock. Now can we finish?" Laughs James. She pulls him to her and presses her lips to his. His hands moved slowly down her back where he placed his hands on her butt and squeezed. "JAMES POTTER! How dare you!" "Well, they could be on the other side if you like" "I think I like them right where they are then" Lily said "That wouldn't look good if you walked around school with my hands planted on your ass" he coolly said. "Why would they judge?" "Erm, well, it wouldn't look nice if a hot boy had his hands on an ugly girl, now would it?" She playfully punched him for that comment. "I think it would look better." She said moving her hands down his spine" if a hot girl had her hands planted on a pathetic boys rump." And saying that she placed her hands securely on his butt. "Moment of silence for Lily finally making sense" James said reasonably. "Well, moment of silence for James finally realizing he's a pathetic boy." "I am now really truly offended". "You guys do know you missed transfiguration" said Remus entering the room. "We know" Lily said. Just then the Gryffindors all walked into the common room. Disclaimer: we do not own any of the characters, they belong to J.K.Rowling  
  
Sorry we forgot this in the last chapter, and that it was so short. 


End file.
